I know that when I graduated from college and entered the workforce I felt out of place. I started working for a very large corporation and was surrounded by people who had children my age or close to it. Being the new kid on the block is never easy. It is always a series of proving yourself, proving that you deserve to be there and demonstrating your added value without stepping on the toes of those who have been doing, what you are new to, for many years. Respect in a work environment of mostly 50-year-old men was not easy. During the first year I was very bummed out by the fact that I was never going to be a part of the nice guys club no matter what I did. I was half his age in many cases, female, and a little blonde stigma to top it off.

How could I fit into this world? The answer was that she couldn’t. No matter what he did, he would never be like them. These men had a 50-year-old man’s card. They were golf partners, had similar lifestyles, were married, and had children. Not to mention the simple fact that they were men or their years of experience.

However, he had something even more powerful. The female card of 23 years. She just had to learn how to use it. As soon as I changed my perception of how I could do what I needed to do, work became a much happier place for me. Maybe I couldn’t look someone in the eye, put the fear of God in them and say “do it” with authority, but notice how far a smile and “Could you help me?” Like a woman? I had to learn to speak and act in a way that these good guys would be receptive to. I don’t think it’s sexist. I think that men and women are different on some levels and it’s about learning to communicate so that the other sex listens to you better. They are just good sales tactics. I could use the sex and ego appeal.

I know a lot of you are rolling your eyes at me right now. I’m not talking about going to work with a low-cut shirt, short skirts or anything like that. I’m just talking about a few different sales approaches. What 50-year-old man wants a 23-year-old woman to tell him how to do it? I learned two different approaches to keep everyone happy.

One of the best sales tactics is convincing the other party that the idea on the table is your idea. This worked amazing in my situation. Instead of presenting a solution, I could present facts that would lead to a single solution and ask questions to lead others to my conclusion. I used their ego against them in some way. They felt better about the solution when they felt they helped find it. Sometimes I have a hard time not laughing when I can get this to work, because once you figure out how to do it, it usually works every time. It solved my problem of being 23 years old, blonde, and not “old enough” for people to want to pay attention to my solutions.

The second tactic was learning to smile, ask questions, and ask for help. I had to stop being stubborn and use my cards! He could get the attention of these good guys by owning the cards he had to play instead of fighting them. In my career, I’ve found that I can meet with people further up the food chain than I normally would, have them mentor me, put them in my corner, and have them back me by presenting whatever solution I thought it was. better. Your smile and an APPROPRIATE ounce of flirtation can take you quite far in life and in the workplace. It can be a great card and quite comical to see work.

The biggest step is to stop seeing everything as sexist. Life is a series of first impressions. Own who you are and the cards you think you have to play. I bet you’ll find they’re pretty good cards. Once you learn to treat your work like the sales pitch that it is, tailor it to your skill set, and more importantly, tailor it to who your audience is, the sky is the limit.

If any of this scenario is true for you, if you are younger than your colleagues, or a minority as a woman, etc., try choosing a book about selling as a woman or one that presents the differences between how men and women think. . We have some really great cards in our hands. We just have to remember that we cannot always follow the example set before us. A man selling to a man can be a very different proposition than a woman selling to a man or vice versa. Learning how you can better sell yourself and your ideas will be one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself.