When you discover that your marriage is in trouble, your first reaction is to try to control the situation for fear of losing a loved one. Saving your marriage is a difficult and vulnerable situation to be in. When we feel that we are losing someone dear to us, we try to please the other and often ignore our own needs. Saving your marriage will be more successful as long as you understand some basic information.

It is always vital to identify the issues and problems that are occurring and how you are responsible for them. If you are pointing fingers at your partner, you will be less likely to find success in saving your marriage. Always and honestly admit your mistakes.

Now is the time to do what only you can do. Improve yourself as a human being. If your partner is at fault, then there is little you can do to save your marriage.

Listening to your partner is often overlooked. Everyone likes to be heard. It makes us feel valued and understood. Listen to the problems of your partners, let them talk. It will feel strange at first but you will see how good it makes them feel.

Never apologize or beg them not to go. Appearing desperate and needy is not how you want to be perceived. He is not attractive or shows strength. Most couples don’t want weak or desperate partners. Saving your marriage will require your strength, so weakness will not help you save your marriage.

A good example of desperation and weakness is trying to fix your marriage by pandering to them. Many people who follow this desperate strategy end up filled with resentment. This is because we forget about our own needs and values. We create an illusory us to please our partner. It is this illustrious self that our partner falls in love with. This leaves us feeling even more pain because they never fell in love with the real person that we are. Successfully saving your marriage will require that you not fall into this trap.

We have highlighted some of the mistakes one can make when seeking reunification from a failed marriage. Be patient and identify all your problems, communicate with your partner and be 100% yourself. He owes it to both of them. For a happy and prosperous marriage!