Sally is new to dating coaching and started out wanting to learn how to weed out the wrong guys. She said: “Every time I meet someone on a dating website, they turn out to be the complete opposite of what I read about them. How do I delete them?”

I told Sally that this is an excellent question that many women would like to know the answer to. It’s a shame that people are not as they describe in their profiles. The problem is that most people don’t really know how to explain who they are and most online profiles sound surprisingly similar. That’s why I help many dating coaching clients write their profiles, so they can stand out from the crowd and get noticed faster.

The trick to weeding out nasty or wrong types is to read between the lines. For example, if he talks about sex in his profile, guess what his main interest in meeting women is? Yeah, you’re probably not looking for a long-term relationship. Sometimes you have to exchange a few emails and talk on the phone. Sometimes you can’t know until you’re face to face for an hour.

I fully understand how Sally feels. It’s frustrating to meet men who are not who they say they are, misrepresent themselves and just lie. But don’t think that this behavior is limited only to men. Women do it too. As a dating coach, I think it’s helpful to remember that there are all kinds of people, and bad behavior isn’t just a guy thing.

With my dating coaching clients, we work on creating a system to qualify prospects before meeting them. Most clients have found that with a few changes and some new knowledge about the process, they become much better at reading between the lines and weeding out men who aren’t suitable.

Keep in mind that to find your prince, you have to eliminate a lot of frogs. This is how it works and there is no way around it. But you will learn a lot about yourself, what you are looking for, and what will work for you as you go through the process with your eyes, heart, and mind open to men and love.

Sometimes women think that the dating process should be instant and easy, since you can choose the right man from Match.com’s “online catalogue”. Unfortunately, that’s not realistic. It takes time, patience, faith, and the ability to laugh and stay cheerful!

Don’t get depressed by it. Look at it this way: every man you meet brings you one more man closer to the right one for you. He’s out there, I know. I found love at 40 and many of my clients have found love. And that means you too can find the love you want and deserve.