Death ends a life but not a relationship. So, have you ever wondered how you can keep the memory of your loved one alive? Or, how can a new and stronger relationship be established with the person who died, now that he or she is not physically present?

The answer is compelling: practice becoming an expert at loving in separation.

Loving in separation is the act of thinking, commemorating, celebrating and doing anything that remembers your loved one and shows that love never dies. It may involve the use of rituals, symbols, nature, your creativity, or something that belonged to the deceased.

Your intention to make these memories acts of love is all that is needed. Think of intention as a purposeful purpose to honor your loved one. It is an energy that you can draw on to fulfill your desire. Many people believe that intention is a powerful force that already exists and just needs to be used. Wear it to honor a life that has been lived.

Here is how many before you have expressed their love in separation, which you can build on and change, according to your needs.

1. Talk to your loved one. Yes, it is perfectly fine to talk to your deceased loved one. A woman I know says something to her husband every morning even though he died more than three years ago. She cheers him up to start the day and then she leaves for her scheduled appointments. She is as sharp and level-headed as anyone I know, and her small talk helps her and she believes that she demonstrates her love for her husband.

2. Display a symbol that represents your loved one at family celebrations. This could be something the deceased did when he was alive, a favorite photo, or simply light a candle at mealtime as a sign of recognition. The intention is to say that he is remembered every time the family gathers and in spirit he remains a part of the family. You can also find a token to keep in his pocket or purse. I know someone who always carried a small purse that belonged to his sister.

3. Choose a memory of your loved one that inspires you. Use this keepsake whenever you choose to relax or have coffee during the day. You might also consider using it as a replacement for a sad memory you’ve been reminded of or using it to inspire you to do some work.

4. Although new routines must be established after the death of a loved one, there are
there may be some routines that were shared with the loved one that can be kept. For example, if it was common to take a walk in the local park on a Saturday afternoon this may be something to keep and bring back fond memories.

5. If you have had an Extraordinary Experience in which you are convinced that you have received a sign or message from the deceased, use the memory of the event as a way of showing your love by thanking them for the gift. Write it down and reread it on some occasion as a sign that love was given and received despite death.

6. Allow people to talk openly about the deceased whenever the conversation veers that way. Telling stories about the deceased and noting characteristics brings back great memories. As an example, my wife might say things like, my father loved this type of bread or he always had this ice cream for dessert.

7. Consider some of your loved one’s favorite values, characteristics, sayings, or projects that would be appropriate to adopt and incorporate into your life. This kind of identification can be helpful and life-affirming. Many people, for example, choose to carry out a specific project or help a charity as the deceased used to do. Others are determined to become more open to laugh or talk first when they meet someone like their loved one did.

There are many additional ways you can practice love in separation. By doing so, you are establishing a healthy, life-promoting relationship with your deceased loved one. At the same time, never use these important practices as a way to avoid legitimate suffering and injury that tend to reoccur over the years. Always give yourself permission to show emotion and face sadness.