School-related decisions seem to be an ever-present problem for all families, but especially for families with a child with unique learning needs. Here are some tips I frequently give parents regarding their children’s education:
* Just because a service or option is available doesn’t mean you have to take it. Go with your gut and do what you think is right for your child. If you don’t think the speaking sessions are helping, stop them. If you don’t want the weekly home visit from the early intervention specialist, don’t have it. If you think your child needs to be home with you instead of at school for part of the day, please do so. Don’t let what “other people” say or do lead you in the wrong direction with your child. Don’t let “the professionals” override your better judgment about what your child needs. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain or make a different decision in the best interest of your child and family.
* Don’t hesitate and reflect on the next 15 years of your child’s school career when you just need to make a decision about what to do right now. I have come across far too many parents who are paralyzed at the thought of pursuing something different from the status quo because they wonder what the ramifications will be 10 years from now. Schools make decisions about placement and services on a year-by-year basis based on the child’s current needs, and parents must do the same. You may feel like something is important to your child right now and feel completely different about it a year from now. None of us can predict the future with certainty, no matter how hard we try! The important thing is to make the right decision for this moment and re-evaluate as you go.
* Don’t buy into the idea that there is a certain place that fits the bill and if you keep looking long enough, you will find it. No setup is perfect and there will be glitches and issues popping up everywhere you go. The important thing is finding the right people who are willing to customize things to work in the best interest of each child, people who will incorporate you as a parent as part of the team and work with you to ensure progress.
* Don’t get hung up on tags! I couldn’t care less what a certain classroom is called, as long as the people are involved in setting high standards and helping each child reach their potential. Very often, programs have the names they have for paperwork and reporting, nothing more. Visit many locations: meet the staff and see them in action; have an idea of the environment; watch the other students. Those are the critical elements in determining whether a classroom is right for your child, not whether the name of the classroom matches the child’s label.
* Finally, consider your child’s developmental level and amount when making educational decisions. There is enormous pressure to place children, particularly those with autism, in formal educational settings earlier and earlier, but that may not be the best decision for your child. If you know your child isn’t ready for a classroom program, don’t send it. There is much to be gained by allowing children to benefit from parental guidance during the early stages of development, and that process can take longer for children with unique learning needs. The same is true for children who experience significant amounts of stress at school. Parents must carefully weigh the potential benefits of a school setting against the amount of stress it causes and the detrimental impact of that stress over time. Each of us as parents must take a hard look at our child and decide if they are ready to enter a school setting for part or all of the day, or if they need more time to be successful and benefit from that setting. . Once again, don’t be afraid to make a different choice; say “thank you, but not now” to school options if your child is not ready.
Perhaps some of these things touch on issues that you have been thinking about in relation to your child’s education. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and do what’s right for your child at this time. You are your child’s best advocate and in the best position to make decisions regarding your child’s education. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!