Impressive! I have a pair of kings and I am completely sure that my opponent only has one high card, probably an ace. I need a big bet here … he actually called and stayed! Sucker. I’m sure he only has one high card. Only the river card remains … great, an ace. Damn. Maybe I don’t have an ace after all. Maybe he had matched the cat on the board. Yes, it would be too stupid to keep an ace before the river. I will check. Let’s see what you want to do now, Mr. Bigshot. ALL INSIDE ?! I am committed to marijuana, now. I have to call. You got to be kidding; he won with aces on the river.

I hate being defeated by the Lucky River cards. If only there was some way to cheat and not have the guilt that goes with it. Well now you can with “Texas Cheat ‘Em”.

In this Xbox Live Arcade game, cheating is the focus of the game. You can unlock up to fifteen different cheat skills, including turning your 2/7 into a guaranteed win or knowing the community cards before they are dealt (that means no more big bets with an unmatched ace on the river).

It’s amazing how dirty you can be in this game. Players can unlock achievements by stealing another player’s tokens, using X-ray vision on an opponent’s cards, or even having five of a kind (good luck explaining that to the head of room). For traditionalists, there’s the “You’re missing the point here” achievement, for completing a ladder or better without cheating. My favorite achievement is “Like a Bad Rash” which is obtained by folding and then winning the hand by unfolding. Imagine the look on Phil Ivey’s face when you say fold and then joke. If you’re really bad at poker, you can always unlock the “Overkill” achievement by using five or more cheats in one hand.

If anything, you’ll have fun imagining that you have superpowers and then eliminating your opponents one by one. Come on, anyone who’s ever played poker has thought about it. Now you can!

“Texas Cheat ‘Em” has 12 achievements worth 200 player points and is available on Xbox Live Arcade.