The other day I received an email from a wife whose husband had asked for “space.” He needed “time to think” and he wanted to be able to do it without his wife being present. Of course, the wife didn’t quite know how to take this. She felt like a rejection. She felt like the first step to break. She felt as if she no longer loved her. So naturally, this made her want to make her presence felt a lot more than her. She knew that pushing into him when she asked him for space might be the wrong thing to do. However, she was having a very difficult time with this. She just wanted to be with him and she felt bad taking a step back. She asked how she could get over this and give her the space she had asked for. I will share with you what I advised him to do in the following article.
When a husband asks for space, you must make it work for you: There are many reasons why a man will walk away or ask for some time alone to reflect. Sometimes this doesn’t even have much to do with you. However, you may not connect the dots with this. It is quite possible that he is projecting his frustration in other areas onto you. However, he may be having some issues with himself. Other times, he may be contemplating or reflecting on the relationship and he may just want to be able to do this without you being there to influence his thoughts. Sometimes he just wants to be wide on his own. Men rarely want to share their vulnerability with their wives.
However, never underestimate silence and distance as a tool that can work for you and not against you. Basically, you have a choice here. You know that when he is taking his “space” he is going to reflect on you and the relationship, so don’t let recent images of you be those of you arguing and/or blaming or putting yourself in a negative light.
Instead, treat yourself with respect and grace. Treat him the way you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed. Make it clear that you love him and want him to be happy, but respect his request and make it clear that you’re going to take advantage of the time too. This does not mean playing or implying that you are going to act badly. This means showing him that you are strong, independent, and capable. Not only that, but you will do your own reflection during this process.
Show him your strong and attractive side, not the weak and needy side: It’s very easy to “just sign up”. Or to call and text much more than you intend. It’s too tempting to keep checking their Facebook or Twitter page or whatever else you take a look at. Resist this urge. It will only make you seem needy and less than attractive. You will become the woman who clings too much again. Keep yourself as busy as you need to so you won’t be tempted to do these things. However, make sure these things that keep you busy are fun for you.
Surely there are things you’ve been meaning to do lately, but you just haven’t done them or you’ve postponed them because you didn’t want to take up time. Well, now is the perfect time to take advantage of this time. Don’t sit at home thinking about this. Don’t play sad love songs or write painful poetry. Do not take old photos or videos. All these things will only feed your feeling of despair and this is not what you want.
Instead, focus on the things that make you happy, build your confidence, and build some peace. Know that this is going to work out no matter what happens, because you both deserve to be happy. Get a makeover or a new hairstyle. Make sure he knows you love yourself enough to care about you as much as you care about him.
Create positive perceptions: You may have doubts and negative perceptions about the relationship right now, but you can’t control your thoughts. You can only control how he acts and responds when the two of you interact at the moment. And you want to leave him with positive thoughts when he thinks of you. This doesn’t mean you should be too sweet or syrupy. He is probably smart enough to detect insincerity and deception. But, you are very capable of interacting in a positive way. You are very capable of showing him the best side of yourself that exhibits the qualities that he fell in love with. You know how to carry on a light-hearted and cheerful conversation with him.
Do not present yourselves as the wounded on whom he must have mercy. Present yourself as the fun-loving, personable, fun-loving woman. This will make him miss you faster than trying to convince him that he’s wrong, which is what a lot of us do. I know this may go against what you feel like doing, but try to take a step back and think about what’s really best, not what feels good right now, but what could later become. a mistake.