“You’ve come a long way, darling…” the TV ad read. In the ’70s, women were told that we could have it all, do it all, be it all. We were told that we could climb the corporate ladder, be a mother, have a successful marriage, and earn as much dollar for dollar as a man could. Now we had “women’s rights.”
Along with those rights came the Pill. sexual freedom. Now we could have sex without so much fear of pregnancy. In fact, we were equal to men. Right? Or do we just make it easy for them to have sex without making any effort?
Along with those rights, we learned phrases like “macho macho pig” and set out to educate men who could no longer objectively see us as women. Singer Helen Reddy sang “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar”.
We stopped letting men open our doors, pay for our drinks and dinner, and insisted we could take home the bacon AND fry it in the pan. In addition to being “equals”, we insist that men do NOT look at us as women… but as equals. But are we really the same? And how equal do we want to be? Personally, I’m not interested in being one of the guys. I like being a woman. I like being feminine. I like it when a man is a real man.
Biologically, we are not the same as men. Men are still snipes and snails and puppy tails and trucks and guns and testosterone, and women are still sugar, spice, everything good, lip liner, and lunch with the girls. Thank God we are not the same. I believe in women’s rights and I also believe that women have the right to be treated with basic human consideration and respect. Men deserve respect too, but personally I can’t respect a man who doesn’t respect me. Is it any wonder why so many women complain to me and to each other that they don’t feel respected by men?
How far have we really come since the 70s? Let’s see….
Women still earn less than a man doing the same amount of work. Now we work outside the home, we come home exhausted and we work inside the house taking care of the children and our husband. If a husband and wife divorce, their lifestyle decreases by 45% and increases by 15%.
Men of the “future”, that is, TODAY, were supposed to be caring guys who were products of “an enlightened age” sensitized to our plight as women. Of the men who, although they no longer opened doors for us, paid us the way, respected us as women, revered us as mothers and wives and girlfriends, were still expected to NOT OBJECT OR DISRESPECT.
Well guess what? Many of the men who are supposed to be products of the moms and dads of the ’70s…the so-called “enlightened men” still objectify women.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I get a text or email from a guy I don’t know and have never met who calls me “baby.”
The following is a small example of the types of emails I receive from complete strangers:
“Hey babe. Contact me and let’s talk.” “Hey, hottie. Do you want to talk, babe?” “Hey babe. Let me know if you want to connect. Okay babe?”
Hello? I have a name AND IT’S NOT BABY. I loved the movie, but I’m not a talking pig, or a famous baseball player, or a female multi-sport phenom (although she used to play a lot of soccer and basketball). We haven’t met. Please don’t think you can be SO familiar with me. Let me say this to all the guys who call me “Babe”… “Hey babe. When you can email me and have something to say, that’s a better ice breaker than ‘you want to connect with me and see what happens’ “. ?’ then let me know. If you’re so spoiled or lazy or too stingy to jump for a cup of coffee or so poor in social skills that you think I’m going to fall into myself to respond to you based on your courtship of an I-sentence, you’ve got another thing to come. . It’s your best A-game, keep going.
I’m not playing in that game with you. I am NOT a ripe fruit. I am a confident woman with a lot to give someone, and I don’t mean just sexually. I am not some desperate, stupid, gullible old woman who mistakes objectification for respectful and genuine concern. I’ve been around long enough to know when I’m being disrespected. I’m not desperate for sex, but I bet you are and that’s why you’re sending 60 emails at a time to women hoping the numbers game pays off. I’m not a set of boobs. I’m not a pair of legacies. I’m not YOUR hot babe.
I am a mature, well-read, well-educated, self-respecting woman with high self-esteem and a high self-concept who is not going to spend an ounce of my effort on ANY man who objects and talks to me as if I was a free prostitute. . I have helped people die and been in the room when they passed away. I’ve been through hurricanes. I have a perspective on life that you won’t get for another 20-30 years IF THAT. I won’t let anyone trivialize my existence by calling me ‘Baby’ and texting me when you and I haven’t even talked on the phone, seen eye to eye, or broken bread together… Let me repeat this to get it straight. : I am not a fruit at your fingertips for you to pass, pick up from the ground, use and throw away”.
So are men still objective women? From what I’m reading on the internet in recent studies, yes. (April 1, 2009 LifeSiteNews.com) — Psychology researchers at Stanford and Princeton universities have discovered that images of semi-naked women can make men view them as objects. A lead researcher on the project said: “What the brain scans show is that they are reacting to this photograph like people react to objects. It’s like they’re not fully human.”
Why is this continuing in 2009 with almost 40 years of “equality” between men and women? Well, one reason is because women allow it. We let the men get away with it. Maybe we don’t value ourselves, so why should we expect a man to value us? Perhaps we overlook this familiar term because it’s not worth getting upset about. And maybe after hearing it for the thousandth time, we’ll hit a breaking point and finally decide to draw a line, because it signals the start of a downhill slide with a man. One reason is because with porn so readily available on the Internet, men are looking at two-dimensional representations of women and sexualizing what they see. They transfer this sexualization onto real three dimensional women and treat them accordingly. One reason is because while their mothers were climbing the corporate ladder, no one was home TEACHING these young men how to respect women. One of the reasons is because of the divorce, the father no longer lives at home, and perhaps the father reprimands the mother in front of the sons.
If you think that just because you’re young and sexy and that’s enough, God bless you. If you don’t change that thought, you will become the very old man that we women are tired of meeting and dating.